Part two

I was awoken at 2am with contractions every 3 to 4mins. Initially I just thought it was early labour, but they kept coming and were getting intense. The ward had grown busy and a new doctor came to examine me at 4.30am, I was still 2cm and she thought I had a long way to go (I felt I didn’t) she offered me diamorphine. It was so hard to refuse but I knew deep down it wouldn’t agree with me so I passed and settled for gas and air. Just after the doctor left I vomited and knew things were progressing then.

It was tough labouring alone, all I wanted was a warm bath and my husband’s hands on my lower back to sooth me physically and emotionally. Instead I settled for waddling to the shower and had Leslie on Whatsapp offering advice for pain relief and much needed encouragement. At 5.30am, my angel midwife saw me struggling in the shower and offered to examine me, I was 5cm and could go to delivery! I called my husband! The contractions were intense, my angel midwife followed me and explained to the delivery suite that they could open the pool for me. I was so grateful to her for doing that as I knew I wouldn’t last much longer without water. I desperately needed water.

Things moved fast. People around me were moving at speed getting everything ready, the contractions were intense. My husband arrived, I was so relieved and burst into tears and he burst into action, squeezing my lower back and doing everything he could to ease the pain just like Leslie had taught him. The pool was ready, I climbed in and felt instant relief and peace. Everything became calm and slow including the contractions. The delivery midwives stayed behind me out of sight, the light was low, my hypno birthing was on in my ear phones, I had gas and air and cradled in my husband’s arms at the edge of the pool. I told my husband it wouldn’t be long, I knew baba was coming soon. My innate birthing kicked in, I positioned myself kneeling upright and let out guttural groans when a contraction came and between relaxed and talked and swayed. It was beautiful, far better than I imagined. As soon as I got into the water I knew all would be well. I could feel every move baba was making and knew he was on his way. My BP was perfect!

Before long baba crowned, and then popped his head out, it felt like forever that he lay there with head emerged and then finally his body slid out and he swam up behind me just after 8am. They swiftly took him out and placed him in my arms. I couldn’t believe it he was here! He was silent, stunned looking at us. I asked if he was ok, they reassured me he was fine and then the cries came, such loud reassuring cries. He was here, we had done it, it had been a beautiful wonderous experience

Although our birthing journey had a rocky start it had a beautiful ending that would never have been possible without Belfast Baby Company. Leslie and Emma were instrumental in guiding me through the ever changing landscape of maternity services and explaining all the latest policies that were in place at the time. If I hadn’t had their advice I would never had the option of a home birth nor would I ever have pursued the water birth suite in the hospital. I’m forever grateful to them and their support.

To all the women who are pregnant or have given birth in the pandemic, my heart goes to you. Being pregnant and birthing can be tough enough without a pandemic going on and I hope my experience can help you in some way. Looking back, I’ve learned a lot from what happened, I now realise that even with wonderful support from Leslie internally I was stressed coming up to the birth which I feel led to my BP issues. Instead of honouring what I was feeling which is natural in a pandemic, I carried shame around feelings of anxiety and stress and minimised them by telling myself that my family and I were all healthy and well and none of us front line workers so I had nothing to worry about. But the fact was, I was worried and that was ok. I’ve since learned that emotions are energy in motion and that energy needs to go someplace. I’m still learning to honour uncomfortable feelings, it’s a work in progress but if you’re having a difficult time it’s ok to experience that, it’s not pleasant but it’s ok. There’s lots of support out there and even if you don’t want to hire a doula I know Belfast Baby Company will guide you to the right direction. Sending you all love and light on your wonderful journey.