This pregnancy started off very different from my other two so that should have been a clue that the birth would be a little different. 

1st birth Caitlin – straightforward pregnancy, minimum of symptoms throughout. At 39+1 labour started at 3 am and she was born in the hospital at 3:03 pm. 

2nd birth Elliott – mostly straightforward pregnancy with some sickness early on and from 28 weeks. Planned home birth. At 38+4 labour started at 3 am and he was born at home in the pool at 3:32 pm. 

3rd birth Amanda – pregnancy started out rough with hyperemesis from 6-14 weeks, plus COVID at 8 weeks. I was referred to the newly formed Birth at Home team at booking and had my first appointment with them at 16 weeks. 

2nd and 3rd trimesters were fairly straightforward, an episode of pelvic pain kicked in around 34 weeks (thankfully resolved with the advice and the most wonderful fortnightly massage from Nicole at Essentially Birth/the Pregnant Vegan).

I felt early on this baby was going to arrive earlier than her siblings so was prepared to be holding a baby well before their due date. It was no surprise when shortly after 37 weeks tightenings started at 3 am during the night. They were mild and 10 minutes apart, by 10 am they weren’t easing and I contacted my birth team to give a heads up that something might be happening. By 2 pm it had all stopped, I was tired and frustrated, but guessed it was baby trying to get into a good position and engage. 

My 38-week midwife appointment came and things looked positive. I’d had episodes of tightenings most nights for at least 3-5 hours and the baby was in a good position now as confirmed by the midwife. The notes from this appointment read similar to those from my last antenatal appointment with Elliott the day before he arrived and I was hopeful it would happen in the next few days. 

As I approached my 40-week appointment I started to get increasingly frustrated. Still having disturbed nights from tightenings that would lead nowhere I was staying close to home and not making plans ‘just in case’ and starting to feel cooped up. I was trying all I could – active upright positions, biomechanics for birth techniques, essential oils, even a few of the old wives’ tales, and no change in the patterns of my nights. I also had a wonderful friend come over and paint bump for me, it was so lovely to sit and chat away while baby wriggled and Ciara painted away.

At my 40-week appointment, I asked for a sweep. The baby was in a good position still, although they had swapped from LOA to ROA. I knew the risks of a sweep were primarily that if my body wasn’t ready it would have no impact except possibly causing unproductive cramps, also a small risk of infection or breaking the waters accidentally. I was happy with these so went ahead, I was having tightenings that were keeping me awake and not doing much anyway so may as well give it a try. Turns out it wasn’t really to be, my cervix was high, posterior, long, and only about a fingers width open which is pretty much the standard way of being in pregnancy for a mum who has given birth previously. The midwife did what she could in the way of stimulation and I was relieved to have a baseline to know where things stood. 

Oddly the days after the attempted sweep were fairly niggle free. Knowing the baseline of my progress I felt a little more comfortable leaving the house so kept busy with days out for Caitlin and Elliott. On Sunday we went to Oxford Island for the kids to have a swim and walked about a bit. That evening Simon and I watched nonsense on TV and I tried a few acupressure points. I went to bed at about 10 pm with nothing happening. 

The Day of Birth

At 1ish I woke to some discomfort and lay keeping an eye on how it felt, by 1:30 it was clear I couldn’t stay laying down. I went downstairs and started tidying up a bit and using a simple contraction timer app. Soon I realized I was having contractions every 3 minutes. They were intense but I still wondered in between if it was the real deal. At this stage, I was loading the dishwasher in between so really wasn’t sure. 

By 2:15 I made the decision to wake Simon and get started on the birth pool. I also text Helen my wonderful birth photographer and let her know what was happening and we decided it would be good for her to start heading this way as she had a daily long drive.

At 2:30 I woke Elliott up as he wanted to blow the pool up. He came downstairs with me and when Simon came down we started pool setup. Contractions were continuing every 3 minutes fairly intensely, but with good breaks in between. Around then I also asked Simon to put the TENS machine on for me. I had tried bouncing on the ball but it wasn’t working so pacing about during contractions seemed to be my best bet. 

Simon and Elliott got the pool up and started filling it up from the kitchen sink. I pestered Simon to get the second hose running to hurry things up and then I went up to the toilet and connected the hose to the shower while I was there (turns out I forgot a washer so it wasn’t actually the most helpful thing!). 

3:15 and I was ready to ring for the midwife, pool was underway, things weren’t slowing down and I didn’t want to leave it too late. I rang CAH delivery suite who contacted the Birth at Home team. 10 minutes later I had a call from Paula Murray from the Birth at Home, I was delighted to see her name pop up on my phone as I’d known her from before this pregnancy and had then seen her throughout at various points from 16 weeks. She was on her way and would be there shortly. 

I had always planned to ring Leslie and see about her joining us for the birth so I rang her next. While I wasn’t officially part of the on-call, the plan was if someone else wasn’t in labour and it was practical for her to come down she would. We chatted for a minute and the plan was for her to come just after 6 am once someone came round to be with the girls. That was grand, no need to rush, or so I thought. 

3:35 Helen and Paula arrived at the same time and joined us. I had just woken Caitlin up a few minutes beforehand to tell her the baby was coming so she was hanging out with me in the living room in her snoody. 

From this point the contractions felt more intense, and I was getting impatient for the pool. During each contraction, I leaned on a cabinet, concentrated on breathing, and swayed to whatever song from my very mixed playlist was on at the time. Caitlin cuddled me and Elliott came over for the odd hug.

In between contractions for some reason, I decided I wanted an ice lolly so Caitlin went and got me one. It was wonderfully cold and sweet, but every time I got a decent bit of it a contraction came, so it was abandoned halfway through. Paula offered to try some hip squeezes with me and these were wonderful, the counter pressure just felt lovely as my body tried to pull away from everything. 

At around 4:15 I was questioning Simon if the pool was ready. The water level looked good but I couldn’t see the thermometer. He assured me it was good to go so I quickly got the TENS off, with really bad timing just as a big contraction started. 

After it I grabbed Elliotts’ step stool and climbed in by 4:25. Paula asked if I wanted to leave my pants on at this stage and I remember struggling to decide if I was close enough to take them off now. Once I was in I knelt in the middle and the kids asked if they could get in. I said yes, and I have never seen them change from pyjamas to anything so fast! They were back in under 5 minutes and in beside me chatting about the thermometer. 

For contractions, I was now leaning on the side of the pool and breathing through. Shortly after I got in the second midwife arrived. The lovely Diane from the Banbridge community midwives. I was delighted to see her as she supported me with all my postnatal appointments with Elliott. It felt lovely to introduce Elliott now 6 years old and a bit bigger. 

Suddenly there was a shift in the contractions I had to really work through them and the pressure sensation totally changed. At this point, I considered asking for the gas and air, but I also wanted to really be aware of what was going on and felt that the gas had muddled things a little with Caitlin and Elliotts’ births. 

I was wondering how close we were to baby coming now. During a contraction, the words of a wonderful consultant obstetrician who had been present at a doula client’s birth came to mind. ‘Just pop your finger in and check’, so that’s exactly what I did and I could feel what I assumed was a bag of waters on the baby’s head. I said as much to whoever was listening at that point and told Caitlin it wouldn’t be long until the baby was out. I noticed Simon sitting in the living room and called him in to sit beside me. By the next contraction, I was leaning into the side of the pool holding Simon’s hand while Paula put counter pressure on my lower back. 

On the next contraction I felt the baby move down significantly and in my mind was planning how I would stay in this position until the head was out then turn over to a more seated position to make it easier to catch the baby. Well on the following contraction both Simon’s hands got a good squeeze as the baby came the rest of the way down and crowned. I could feel them and their waters come out. There wasn’t a break to turn around. The head was out and another contraction started bringing babies body into the world, and baby was born at 4:59 am.

Baby came through my legs and the first glimpse I got was a little bum floating up towards me. Reaching down I guided baby up and into my arms with Simon at the side of the pool and Caitlin and Elliott by my side ready to meet their new brother or sister. A quick check and we discovered they had a baby sister. I showed her to them and sat back leaning on the side of the pool. When a small amount of blood started to enter the pool the kids’ expression told me they were not for staying in, so out they jumped and I got some one-to-one time to look over my beautiful new baby girl. She was just perfect and so similar to her big sister. The kids weren’t long getting their pyjamas back on and they were standing by the side of the pool admiring their new baby sister. 

Then the afterpains started! Oh my goodness they are something else, I knew to expect them but was not prepared for how intense they would be. 

I stayed in the pool for about 20 minutes or so, baby latched and fed without an issue and I was starting to feel something coming for the placenta. I decided to get out and sit on the CUB that was set up in the living room. I say there chatting with Paula and Diane and asked Simon to make tea. Caitlin by now was on the sofa with a book and Elliott was between coming in for a nosy and playing with his camcorder. Just over an hour after Amanda was born we decided to try sitting on the toilet to see if it would help, she was still attached as the cord was intact. I wanted to leave the cord alone until the placenta was delivered. The trek to the toilet was interesting, we don’t have a downstairs toilet so inco pads strategically tucked in I waddled up the stairs holding the baby. 

Within moments of sitting on the toilet, the placenta was out and Caitlin came in and cut the cord. Paula clamped it long to give lots of space for putting our cord tie on.  

I started to feel a little faint here and asked Caitlin to go get me some water. Off she went but I think I was already going at that point. I fainted and was out for only a few seconds according to the midwives. I came round to see Helen had baby Amanda and everyone else looking a bit confused down the hall. Simon and Elliott had been downstairs tidying up the pool when it happened.  

Into bed for some water and my blood pressure soon came back up. Simon and the kids had cuddles with Amanda while I started to feel better and then Paula did a quick check for tears before everyone came back in. 

Before putting her cord tie and nappy on we weighed and measured her and found she was 8lb7oz, the exact same weight as Elliott. I watched Deborah Neigers video on tying cord ties and was happy to be able to do it myself. Finally, I popped a nappy on and snuggled our new baby girl into my vest top. 

We chilled out as a new family of 5 on the bed for a while and the midwives headed downstairs to sort paperwork and kits out. Everything was just perfect for what I was hoping for in this birth, I couldn’t have asked for more.